Tuesday, 6 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep.8

Episode 8: The merge...

Look, I said I would tone down on the whole, "How annoying is Nick," thing, but I'll try harder next week. There's just too much to talk about today...

We start our ep at the Gryffindor camp, The Magician is starting to see himself as a bit of a game player, you know, playing all the girls...being a mastermind. The girls don't agree and all know what he is doing. As long as he is happy though, thats fine. All of a sudden Kylie is in an alliance with the Magician, Flick and Brooke... I thought they didn't want her? I can't keep up... All I know is...no one likes Nick...and I get it... I don't like him either.

Over at Slytherin, Rohan is giving everyone the shits. I think it might be his passive aggressive, patronising attitude...maybe... Floppy Hat is still on the outer and I kind of hope she gets some payback. She has copped a lot of flack and I like that she doesn't let it get to her and she just pushes on. You go Glenn Coco!

There is a quick crab shot... Quick, but terrifying. I think it's Phoebe...whoever it is, is asleep and there is a freakin' crab crawling inches from their face. That literally makes me want to die. So lucky you didn't get a honk on the nose.

Still in Slytherin, Lee has melted his shoe. He left it too close to the fire and he literally melted it. Why Lee? He is too nice! Go melt Nick's shoes... or Flick's... or both, if you want to be really cheeky...

Hufflepuff...what's happening? They have bit of drama too, Jenna Louise (is that her name?) has been stung by a bug. I know... serious drama going on tonight everyone. The thing about Craig is, he used to annoy me bit, but I kind of like him now. His laugh makes me literally LOL, and I never say LOL...EVER! Plus, I have muchos respecto for him after his Zen Master session with the rope challenge yesterday.

So it's challenge time. You know, the time where I try and recreate what the challenge is but can't...because it's always quite complicated. So, there is no immunity in this challenge, the winner gets, "A game changing advantage, an advantage that will literally change the game"...thank you Anthony LaPagalia's Brother. So what they need to do is swim out to a platform, then someone has to be carried through the water on these weird stepping poles to the next platform. They then all need to climb up to the last little platform and ALL tribe members must stand at the top together... Does that makes sense? Well if it doesn't, maybe you should have watched the episode! Geez...so judgmental these days. Anyway, Gryffindor win! Go Go Gryffindor! So the big exciting news, which you may have guessed from the title, is it's merge time. There will now be two tribes and Gryffindor get to choose who they want on their team. SCORE!!! Gryffindor for the win. So they pick the obvious choices of Hot Sam and Lee (as if you wouldn't), as well as Elle and Jenna Louise. The first three are because they are all super fit and awesome, and poor Jenna is literally brought on to give them someone to vote out - the master plan of 'Nick The Bitter.' Poor Connor, all of the original Gryffindor members were brought back but him *awkward collar tug* Thats gotta hurt.

So now we have an amazingly awesome Gryffindor tribe, and a Hufflepuff tribe... the team that nobody wanted. Slytherin is no more, so thank god, from now on I only need to talk about 2 tribes.

Gryffindor return back to camp to find an amazing feast of beer and chips waiting for them. How RELIEVED would Hot Sam be?? Seriously, back where he belongs! Flick is planning on making an alliance with the coconuts and that random crab that walked past before. Ok, that didn't happen, well not yet. The Magician has stupidly trusted Flick and Brooke, big mistake buddy, stay awaaaaaaay from them. Stick with Hot Sam and Lee. Jenna is not really impressed with the whole, "I had a strong alliance in my tribe and now I have literally nothing," situation she is in. Her and Nick go for a little walk together and it's pretty awkward. Nick has a revenge list... Dude, you got voted out like two years ago, you need to get over it. Jenna does her best to stand up to his little bitchfest he has going on. It's painful to watch, let alone be in it. I feel for you! Can they just do us all a massive favour and get rid of him already!

Over at Hufflepuff, they are doing the best to pretend like they weren't all the rejects that didn't get chosen to be on the cool team. Floppy hat, however, is genuinely happy because she has been given a lifeline to get some serious revenge. Phoebe is regretting the whole, "Backstabbing Floppy Hat," bizzo she created, because she is suddenly finding herself outnumbered.  As they are eating their little feast they were given, Craig finds a secret note in his napkin... What is it?!!?? He didn't tell us!! You can't just do that!

This is so awesome that they have merged them all! You can see all their little brains working over time trying to figure out what's happening, "What are people thinking? Who's my friend? Who's my enemy." So cool! Well done Person Who Wrote This Show! Well Done...

Now... I have some observations and questions I want to share with the group:
- There are waaaaay more crabs since I started Crab Count. Coincidence?...  or Crabspiracy?
- Does Anthony LaPaglia's brother just make up the things he says, or is someone telling him what to        say?
- If they are only eating rice and beans, how do they do the challenges? I'd pass out just walking to it.
- Do they get sunscreen? How would you not get sunburnt?
- How is Jenna Louises' hair always so nice and her fringe so straight?
- Why is there a man outside my house mowing the cement? (Actually happening)

If you have any answers to these questions, especially the last one then, jump over to my social media worlds and let me know. I'm intrigued.

Until next time...
May the crabs be with you... wait...

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