Sunday, 25 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap Ep. 14

Episode 14: The one where IthinktheymaypossiblybemergingcoztheadstoldusallweeksoIthinkitshappeningtonight...

Now I don't want to ruin the surprise for tonight, even though we have seen the ads for the, "game-changing merge" for tonights show about 4000 times this week, but I think there might be some kind of game-changing event, like a merging of tribes...tonight...on the show.

We start our episode off in the concentration camp that is, Hufflepuff. The 3 remaining Hufflepuff members are literally wasting away with next to no food. Look, I take my hat off to them, I couldn't deal being that hungry, by now I would've literally used my own arm as bait to catch a shark and eat it... alive. Then eaten my arm. For protein.

The well fed Gryffindor stomp into this reward challenge like the mighty power team that they are, while Hufflepuff saunter in be pushed along by the wind. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother drops the bombshell, that NO ONE was expecting, the two tribes are merging! Hufflepuff are silently whispering, "Thank fuck," while Nick is waaaaaay too enthusiastic, it kind of scares me...he points a lot and says, "Say it!! Say it!" Very aggressively about 40 times. He will say it, but if you interrupt him by saying, "Say it," then he can't say what he wants to say! So they are officially merged and are now competing as individuals. No more Hufflepuff and Gryffindor... That's sad...

So this reward is the famous auction challenge, where they basically auction off food and they must all bid,. The highest bidder... you know what an auction is. It's an auction. The first item is salt and vinegar chips and a coke. Connor looks at it like it's the first bit of food he has ever seen in like, 30 days...oh wait...he was on 'no-win-no-food Hufflepuff.' He won his little chippies and even won some drinks for his buddies. Cute. Connor bids again for the next item, chocolate cake and chocolate milk. He literally bids all his money... got a little excited there, the auction JUST started. Hot Sam wins some nachos, my favourite meal I want nachos... The nachos needed more cheese though. They give out some secret advantages, some spaghetti (YUM) and then all of a sudden, it's done. Sucks if you didn't bid, I'm looking at the majority of you! Snooze you lose!

They are all back at their new camp. Everyones brains are going into hyper drive. Flick is freaking out at all the new people she can make an alliance with, Nick is freaking out at all the new people he can annoy and be bitter about, being kicked out with and Connor, he is just really happy to finally be included. Flick is super bitter at Connor for some reason, I don't even really remember what he did. Flick, Brooke and Elle are making a little Bitch Brigade, already planning on not speaking to people...coz thats super mature and awesome of you. However on the flip side, Connor is recruiting members to make his own army. Watch out Flick, he's coming for you.

Lee and Nick were the two members who won an advantage at the auction. Lee has gained the power to stop one member from voting and Nick won an clue to a hidden immunity idol... cue footage of him running around like a mad man trying to find it. Remember when he had that clue last time? That went well... except he didn't ever find it. Lee watches him running around like a ferret, very amused. Nick immediately shows him the clue, what the hell is wrong with you dude? Stop bloody telling people you have a clue to an immunity idol. He does find it this time. Clap...clap... we get to keep your butt around for a while longer...

The Bitch Brigade make friendship bracelets and only give it to their friends, no one else. Next they'll be screaming "YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!" Kristie gets one to, I guess maybe to try and get her on their side. Connor has a slight hernia, freaking out at the thought that his alliance could be falling apart.

The Immunity Challenge. Ok, so this is the first immunity challenge for them fighting as individuals. Basically what they need to do is hold onto a pole upside down - so you are pretty much hugging it, and hold on for dear life. If you drop off, you're out. The Magician and Hot Sam are out first. What's up with that guys? If another one of my predictions to win goes then I dunno...I guess it'll just give me something else to whinge about. They slowly drop off, literally drop off, one by one. Kate is like a super pole hugging master. She must be channeling Zen Master Craig here. The girls hang in there (pun intended) for ages. How bored would you be if you dropped off early? At this point you would have been sitting there for 75 minutes watching people dangle from a pole. Anthony Lapaglia's Brother obviously wants to get out of there and speeds up the game by making them all remove one arm. Both Kristie and Kylie don't listen to instructions because they were clearly told about 20 times, you cannot swap arms. So they both swap arms and Brooke wins by default. Kind of an anti-climax.

So we are back in camp and everyone is talking about everyone. It looks like the big targets are Connor or Flick. Nick is doing a lot of talking and making some plan of how to get rid of Connor with his little bitchy Bitch Brigade. Hot Sam and Lee, god love them, don't like Nick and don't want to go along with his plan. They don't want to vote for Connor and may consider jumping over to his team. Wouldn't that be good, Connor would probably wee himself bit from happiness to have his pals back. Connor is trying to grab a private moment with Hot Sam and bloody Brooke tags along like a desperado, it's awkward. Connor and Hot Sam are trying to have a conversation through intense eyeball stares while Brooke stands there like a knob. It's actually really annoying. Why when someones says, "Hey can I talk to that person privately?" would you just tag along? Why? Coz you're a moron. Kristie was obviously really emotionally invested with her friendship bracelet and seems to have been swayed to the dark side. Kate does her best to try and bring her back, but we all know Kristie... She has about 4 people living in that brain.

The first Tribal Council as one team is on, everyone talks very cryptically and there are a lot of close ups on eyes. So really, it's like every other tribal council. Nick talks a lot of the time, he seems to know a lot about everything doesn't he? Brooke wears the ridiculously huge immunity necklace. The pink friendship band is mentioned, everyone wearing one has to put up there hands, to show how sad they are. Except you Hot Sam, you don't count. So they did the votes and I don't understand where the planning was, because they were all over the shop. Poor Connor though, he was voted out. Their alliance just didn't get their shit together and I have no idea who they voted for. It's sad, I liked Connor he seems so lovely. I'm a bit surprised by Hot Sam, he said he wouldn't be voting for Connor because it wasn't the right thing to do, YET he did... What's up with that Hot Sam? Interesting AND disappointing.

Alrighty, so the merge happened. The rumours were true! I shall check in with you all tomorrow for the next instalment of... "The show where Nick talks too much."

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