Wednesday, 21 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep. 14

Episode 13: The one where they still don't merge...

Tonights episode starts off in Gryffindor, with Brooke bringing their new member Sue into camp. Cue Nick going on and on about how, "They voted me out, I want revenge, they were so mean to me, but I'm not bitter at all." Seriously dude, get over it. Get. Over. It.

Back at no friends Hufflepuff, they return with only 4 members... They are already planning who they will vote out next, because even they know they are going to lose everything. Phoebe is starting to get  a little cocky with her brain washing power. May bite you in the bum soon love... Her current plan is to get Kristie voted out, whilst maintaining a sense of security for Kristie, so she doesn't get suspicious... then they accidentally set their shelter on fire. They find it quite funny, I guess that's all that matters.

In the Gryffindor camp, Sue is settling in to her new life on the winning side. Incase you forgot, Hufflepuff actually voted Nick out. Remember that? Remember? Yeah, we all remember because thats literally all he talks about. Nick confronts Sue about his betrayal and she fronts up saying he lied to her and she didn't trust him. Fair enough. It's ok, Nick isn't "angry or bitter."  He then proceeds to be angry and bitter about everything and they have little tiff. She ends it but doing an amazingly patronising move and telling him to, "Lower it". That shut him up. Nice one Sue.

The Reward/Immunity Challenge. So here we are again with Hufflepuff's tiny little group versus the giant 'league' that is the Gryffindor camp. OK, so the challenge is...one by one they run to a pole which they run around in circles, staring at the ground and unscrewing a puzzle bag. They then dizzily need to run over a plank, then repeat the walking in a circle thing, then walk over tree stumpy things to get to the end. They must all do this, then put together yet another puzzle. If they win they not only win immunity, but a giant breakfast feast thanks to the repeatedly used sponsor that is, 'Hungry Jacks'. It's quite a funny one to watch, because after they all spin around in circles, they are running around like a drunk at a piss up. The Magician stacks it and I'm honestly surprised there were no rice spews. I hate spinning, I would be the one to throw up for sure if I did that. I'm just babbling here because we all know who won and if I just keep getting straight to it, I'll have nothing to talk about... Hufflepuff lost. Why did you put Kate on puzzle duty again? She isn't good! It's just sad now, they have no one left... Just give them a damn burger for Gods sake. Gryffindor are going to end up obese if they keep winning at this rate.

Gryffindor enjoy their toasties, egg and bacon muffins, coffee and whatever else they got thats going to make their stomachs want to die. Sue is thanking her lucky stars she is finally on a winning team and is reminded of what actual food tastes like. How lucky is Jenna Louise? She was taken from Hufflepuff on to a team that literally hasn't lost, has been able to eat all this yummy food and is no longer bottom of the food chain. Lucky duck!

So now the battle of Phoebe versus Kristie begins. Phoebe has been sneaking around, turning Kate and Connor against her former partner. She tries to comfort Kristie by saying Connor is with them but Kate wants to vote her out. Kristie then wants to confront Kate, but since this is all a lie, Phoebe tries to convince her to stay quiet. Kristie becomes suspicious of Phoebes desperation and does indeed confront Kate, to find out that her mate, well... isn't her mate. Kristie turns a little scary and I'm pretty sure she can read minds and has the power to destroy your soul with her thoughts. Her smile is kind of like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining', so Phoebe you might want to get the hell out of there, I think she has an axe hidden in her weird, plait hairstyle. Things get super tense and awkward when they have a conversation with each other, both pretending everything is cool, but I felt uncomfortable watching it. Both Connor and Kate are doing a pretty convincing job of agreeing with both of them, so who really knows which way the votes will go?

So we head over to tribal council and I was pretty convinced there were be a twist and a merge would happen. Nope, they are literally getting rid of another Hufflepuff member. This part doesn't take long because there are only 4 people but Anthony LaPaglia's Brother tries his hardest to waste time by asking them all literally the same questions... Over and over and over... and over. He asks Kristie about 5 times who she is voting for. Dude! She's not going to tell you! Stop! I think I fell asleep with my eyes open for a second. My eyeballs are super dry. Eventually we get to the votes and again, doesn't take long. I thought they would be giving Kristie the boot but nope, the biggest Survivor player, Phoebe, is out. I'm kinda disappointed because she just played the game sooo well. I thought she deserved to win.

I have also just realised all the people I listed who I thought would win, are being voted out one by one. Is it me? Is this my fault? I apologise to Hot Sam, Lee and The Magician now for any voting off that may occur. My bad...

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Have a great week and until next time... Never eat dairy that you've left in the car all day!

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