Tuesday, 20 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor recap ep. 13

Episode 13. Children of the Corn...

So we start our episode in the Hufflepuff camp, they are all pretending to be ok with the fact that Phoebe totally blindsided ALL of them, except Kristie. I mean Kristie won't tell you that, in fact, she refuses to admit it. Everyone knows she knows, but she won't tell them she knew what they know she knows...get me? Good.

Over at Gryffindor, everyone is all chirpy because they are literally kicking ass at everything. Nick talks about the fact that he is happy Hufflepuff are losing, coz remember, they voted him out. Remember? Remember how he talks about it all the time? Yeah, same...

Hufflepuff aren't chirpy, at all. They are all plotting to get rid of their next member, which I assume will be at the next tribal council because they live there now. Kristie is bit of an interesting one. Definitely fits the Hufflepuff stereotype... kind of odd. She is currently fishing with Rohan's pants... As you do...

The reward challenge. It's kind of sad when you compare Gryffindor to Hufflepuff. I mean, they have about 45 members compared to Hufflepuff's 5. OK they have 9, but still, there's a massive difference and Hufflepuff are just like deers in the headlight. At least they try. The reward for this challenge is a massive Samoan feast that the winning team can gorge themselves on. For this challenge, it's basically a memory game. One player from each team is shown a sequence of items, they must then remember the order that the items are in and copy them. Whoever gets it right, gets a point, first to 5 points wins. I myself am TERRIBLE at memory challenges, I tried to play along but really, why bother? It's quite a close game, kind of... But ultimately Gryffindor win. Come on guys, this isn't even a physical challenge! If I were in Hufflepuff, I'd be banging my head on a coconut by now.

Gryffindor claim there gigantic feast and stuff themselves full of amazing food... you will regret that. Not eating basically anything, to eating a massive meal of pork, crab, lobster and everything else they had is not going to go down well with your stomach... Oh no wait... here we go. Hot Sam is spewing and they're all basically lying on the ground in pain, wishing for death.

It's cute, they cut over to Hufflepuff who are enjoying their own feast... of snails that Kristie found in the water... Yummy guys... well done... you're winners... too... *awkwardly walks away*

Back over at Gryffindor, they still have a chicken... Didn't they set all the chickens free? Kylie approaches all the girls in the tribe and suggests possibly forming an all girl alliance. It's super awkward because basically no one responds to her... Yeah, like, serious crickets chirping moment.

In Hufflepuff they are all having a deep and meaningful about how honest they all are. Especially Kristie, because apparently she can't lie. That's what she says. Wait, what about the whole, "Not knowing Phoebe was going to play the idol but you really knew" thing you did? That EVERYONE knows about? Don't keep lying dude, just admit it, because you're starting to look like an idiot! Phoebe has now planned to ditch her buddy Kristie and sets out to have her thrown under the bus next. She quickly spins her magical web around the other members of the tribe who all agree to vote her out. It didn't take much convincing because the whole, "I never lie" thing Kristie is doing is giving everybody the shits.

The immunity challenge. Honestly I don't know why Hufflepuff bother turning up at this point. Look let's keep this simple. There are canoes, ropes, people pulling the canoes, then a puzzle. Always a damn puzzle. I'm not even going to go into much detail because it's getting THAT sad. Hufflepuff lost. Gryffindor won, and not only did they win, but they get another, 'Game changing advantage.' One of their tribe members gets to attend tribal council to get an insight into what the G.O. in the other tribe is. It's not really an advantage when you already win every challenge and have double the amount of tribe members, but sure...

Hufflepuff are now in their, "Lets get rid of Kristie," action plan. Kristie is getting weirder as we go on. Have you seen "Children of the corn"? You know, the kids with the crazy eyes that stare into your soul? Yep...thats what we are dealing with here. Phoebe and Connor trick Kristie into thinking that they are voting for Sue... I wouldn't bother... I think she can read your minds...

So Tribal council time... Hufflepuff have been joined by Brooke from Gryffindor as their spy. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother asks the usual, "How do you feel about being a loser?" questions, even he is running out of things to talk about with them, they are there that much. They then reach the subject of Kristie knowing about the idol, and it gets super awkward. She starts going on about how she doesn't lie, something about having a mental breakdown at the beginning, and then she starts crying and the words don't really become coherent. So I don't know what she was saying. But it's awkward... and weird. Just as they are about to vote, Anthony Lapaglia's Brother throws in a little twist. They will NOT be voting someone out tonight. Brooke will actually be choosing someone to steal and take over to Gryffindor. Sneaky!! So she narrows down her decision to either Sue or Phoebe. Phoebe, she feels isn't trustworthy and thereby, chooses Sue. Maybe as an easy person to vote out? I don't know. I really feel bad for Connor, he actually started in Gryffindor and this is twice now they haven't saved his ass from Hufflepuff land.... Why??? Poor Connor... He seems like a nice enough guy, I just don't understand why they keep leaving him out of their club. They have to merge these tribes soon, surely...because it's just getting sad to watch.

So there we have it. Gryffindor wins everything, Hufflepuff lose everything and the crabs seem to be taking over the island in some kind of weird, Crab invasion...
Head over to tweet land to see my live tweets during the show and also the other socials to just... I dunno... chat about what you're having for dinner.

Until next time...which is tonight...

My deets:


No comments:

Post a Comment