Sunday, 23 October 2016

I'm back with my not so secret shame: Survivor Recap Ep 24

Episode 24: The one where I'm sorry I haven't written in two weeks but I got married and went on a honeymoon...

Heyyyyyyy you... Yeah look, I know I haven't been around. It isn't personal I swear, it's just that I had this thing, like a wedding kinda deal, and I did that, then I went away on this other thing, called a honeymoon and it was in a different country and for some reason they DIDN'T have Channel 10 OR Australian Survivor... I know! Weird right? But anyway I have returned and obviously I can't recap something I missed...but basically here's what I learnt from looking at Twitter and Instagram...

  • Brooke was voted out in some kind of blindside
  • I think it had something to do with Flick (not shocked).
  • Next episode Hot Sam was unfortuantly voted out. 
  • I'm going to say it was Flicks fault.
  • They are still on an island and their tans are very impressive.
Does that help you much? I'll take the silence as a yes...

So lets move on to last nights episode. It's getting close to the end now, so it's pretty cut throat and super tense. In case you aren't aware, our remaining Survivors are Lee, El, Flick, The Magician and Kristie. So I still have 2 of my predicted winners in there, although my streak of my chosen ones are still getting voted out... again... I apologise for any unconscious jinxing I may have caused. 

Today our Survivors wake up on their 50th day on a deserted island. 50 days! They are very chipper for people who would STINK and be so in need of some serious carbs! Except The Magician. He was in bit of a mood. I think its because of something to do with Hot Sam being voted out and they were in some kind of alliance? I don't know... the recap at the start of the episode was VERY uninformative.     

So El (whose name I have been spelling incorrectly for weeks... my bad) and Flick have a little deep and meaningful. Flick says she really wants to take El to the final two, El then says for her it's more of a threesome because she has an alliance with Lee. FYI I just read that Lee and El are actually a couple! How bloody cute is that!! They both seem so nice and both being single parents, I think its awesome that they found each other, even in crazy circumstances like that! Super cute. Anyway that makes it awkward for Flick because I kinda don't think El will be choosing her when it comes to the very end. Flick even asks if El wants to be in a final two with her and you can see the serious hesitation El has in answering, awkward. 

El and Lee walk off for a little stroll and it literally takes about 4 seconds for the Magician and Flick to turn on them. But Flick is SUCH a good friend right, pretty sure she just said she "would never write El's name down" and now they are saying "lets vote Lee and El out". Kristie innocently sits by, sometimes piping up with general statements, kinda like Brick in Anchorman. In saying that though, there is the Lee/El pair and the Magician/Flick pair, which means Kristie is in the middle and that all of a sudden makes her VERY popular. 

The Immunity Challenge. So looks like Lee has been dominating in the immunity challenges. Well done, gold star. This challenge involves them all standing on a block, and holding some kind of flat disk plate and having to balance a ball on it. They then go through through rounds where another ball is added. So basically they are just balancing balls. Good to see they saved the riveting challenges for my return. To be honest, it actually did get quite intense, especially when it came down to Lee and The Magician in the end. Did anyone else snicker every time Anthony Lapaglias brother talked about them balancing their balls? Tee hee... we eventually get to the end of the challenge and Lee again wins the extremely ugly immunity necklace. 

So now is when things start getting interesting. The Magician gathers Flick and Kristie to inform them that they need to vote off El. He wants to keep it all very hush hush so they don't catch on to their little plan. Thats ok, coz Flick decides her and Kirstie should tell El they are voting her off. That will go well... I'm sure of it... *Insert some kind of sarcastic face*. The girls grab El and go have a chat on the beach. Flick tells her that they are going to vote her off and El, well, she is pretty pissed. El turns on Flick pretty hard. She tells Kristie that Flick is not to be trusted, she is a liar, she has promised everyone she will take people to the end (VERY TRUE) and that Kristie would be better off joining with her and Lee. Flick just basically digs herself into hole, obviously not prepared for El to go into attack mode and turn it all around on her. It's pretty great. You can see Kristie slowly back peddling and considering joining forces with them rather than the others. El takes them all back to camp and tells Lee whats going on. He is also pretty pissed and both him and El make a pretty convincing case to Kristie that she needs to side with them. 

All of a sudden, the rain gods decide to make a storm from hell and they are all stuck in their little shelter together...and it's SUPER awkward. Even I feel awkward sitting here watching them, like I should be busying myself in the other room. There is a fiery conversation between Lee and The Magician about what Kristie should do, who is and isn't trying to manipulate her and all the while she sits there, i'm sure quite pleased with the fact that she knows she won't be voted out because everyone needs her. Pretty well played to be honest. I don't know if she intentionally played it that well but still, well played. So as the storm gets worse and the music more intense, they all grab their torches and head off to tribal council.

Tribal Council. Coincidentally once they reach tribal council, the crazy storm has stopped, must be the magical powers of Anthony La Paglia's Brother! They all settle into their seats and out come to jury. I find it funny that whenever they are voted out, they are so humble and happy, but when they are in jury mode they have all got serious sass, with a good case of resting bitch face. So they all answer their questions, all very happy and giving the best "everything is so happy and fun" answers that they can. But then El and The Magician have a little heated argument, about whether or not they were ever in an alliance, The Magician saying he was in one with her, El saying they weren't. The Magician gets little bit attitudey in this one - very much a high school girl, eye brow raise, smart ass comeback kind of thang. Once thats done,  they go off and write down their votes and it is decided that The Magician, it's your time to leave my friend. I honestly didn't see that one coming, I thought for sure it was Flick. But hey, there you go. 

Only a few more episodes to go which means only a few more recaps to go and a lot more non-Survivor related posts coming up. Thanks so your patience while I have been away, it's so good to come back. There was a lot of blog planning while I was gone so there are some pretty awesome things coming this way, which I am super excited about. As always, be sure to connect with me over in Social Media land and also let me know if there is anything you want from me, whether than be blog content, maybe a new show to recap, maybe adopt a goat or just a virtual hug. I'm open to suggestions! Especially if it's the one about adopting a goat!

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Thursday, 6 October 2016

So we start off our episode with the evil threesome plotting away over a cauldron of deceit and backstabbery. I'm talking about Elle, Flick and Brooke obviously. They're deciding who their next victim will be and all of a sudden, Lee and Hot Sam are on their sniper list! Um, no. I don't think so. They need to be stopped! Enter, Jenna Louise. Our new hero to be. Her plan is to gather the bottom of the hierarchy and break up the girls. She approaches Sue who is quick join her army. They set sights on Sam, surely he has to realise that sooner or later the girls will turn on him. Not sure if he is swayed, you can only hope he is smart enough. The next is The Magician, he has to flip considering it's fairly obvious the girls have left him out on his own. This is exciting! I got your back Jenna... well I mean, this has already been filmed and there is literally nothing I can do to help her but you know... IF... I was there... I'd have her back... Fo sho...

But then the Magician disappoints us all...he is playing a Kylie card and thinks he's buddy buddies with the evil threesome. No, no, no, no... not again. He blabs and tells Brooke about Jennas plan. The girls are all pissed of and say, "she's gone," about 45 times, but then have the back up plan to vote The Magician out if Jenna gets an idol. Look, Magician man, I've been telling you for awhile now, you need to listen. In fact, you ALL need to listen. They don't want you here, they WILL vote you out. When I build my time machine, I am going to go back in time, find you all and shake my head in disappointment SO BAD... it'll really cause me some neck pain. That'll show you!

The reward challenge. So basically what happens is this...they are split in two teams, one person from each team must fling a ball in the air and they need to catch them. Most catches win. The winning team get a Sunday Roast dinner. Yummmmmmmm. The game goes like this, while both the ball throwers are great, the catchers are crap. Except Lee, he catches all the balls, literally, ALL of them and the rest of them flap around like a bunch of one legged pirate ducks waving sticks around... So Lee's team obviously wins and the rest get to enjoy rice and beans... yummmmmmmmm... The second 'yummmmmm' was sarcasm.

So the Sunday Roast looks amazing, like a feast for the gods! They even drink wine out of goblets, god they'd be cheap dates by this point. One glass of wine and they'd out. Meanwhile back with the rice eaters, Jenna decides to make a bold move and starts to question Flick about how she feels she will go at the end and whether or not she would win if it got down to a final 5 with Elle, Brooke, Hot Sam and Lee. I like your move, start making Flick doubt her chances of winning... break 'em from the inside. This chick, she is clever. I feel like she will get voted off but damn, go down fighting girlfriend. *snaps fingers and whips hair*

The Immunity challenge. So heres the low down... They need to stand on their tippy toes and basically balance a block on their head. The longer they are there the more it'll hurt and if the block drops, you lose. Yeah, it's a balance the block on your head comp. We are really going there. Another thrilling paragraph for me to write about balancing crap on your head. As they drop one by one, all we can really think is, Jenna Louise you have to win! Or you are in big trouble! Come on JL! It comes down to The Magician and JL. It's actually getting really intense to watch! BOOM! She won! So proud! It's not looking good for you Magician man! I wonder how your "friends" will vote tonight...

Back at camp, no one is impressed with the JL win. So now they are back to their plotting ways. Who will they decide to pick on this time? It's good to see Jenna is as frustrated as I feel about the act that no one is standing up to them. Everyone thinks they are voting for whats 'best for their game', but it's not, because they are ultimately going to get voted out. If it's going to continue this way, it's honestly getting bit boring to just watch people being voted off one by one. 

Tribal Council. So here we are again. This one was an interesting one. Jenna Louise put in some pretty big fighting words. Shit got real, really fast. She basically outed the Magician, saying he did the dodgy on her and told the girls about her plan to get them off. He argued back, saying his buddies are his besties and would never turn on him, she then said she doesn't understand how many people need to tell him he isn't in the position he thinks he is for it to get through (I kind of agree). The girls pipe up and deny their super alliance, Sue calls there bullshit and says eventually they are going to have to turn on each other. For some reason they deny this, but it's true, you will, that's kind of how the game will go. Hot Sam gets involved, a bit pissed off and thinks JL is just annoyed she isn't in the cool group. He even manages to drop an insult over to Nick at the jury. It's all very tense and awkward... I love it. Unfortunately at the end of it, Sue gets voted out. This is getting stupid now. 

I'm hoping there are some serious cracks in this alliance of boring, because it's way too predictable. Also, side note... There will be no recaps next week because I'll be on my honeymoon!!...I know tough life, someone has to do it!! So make sure you keep an eye on my social lands and you'll get updates on my tan and how hard it is to do nothing and lying by a pool.

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Tuesday, 4 October 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep.17

Episode 17: The one where Kylie has best friends forever that would never vote her out...

So apparently Survivor isn't on Sundays anymore. Didn't get that memo when I sat down to watch and some random movie started. I was confused, shocked and flabbergasted. But it's ok, I was in bed by 8:30, so I obviously got over it...

Our episode begins with the aftermath of Nick leaving Survivor. Right before he was voted out he dropped a few bombshells, one being that The Magician isn't as close to the three girls as he thinks and also exposing the 3 girl alliance, (Flick, Elle and Brooke) as the rulers of the game. So back at camp there are a few unhappy people and a lot of eyes on the girls... Which is not what they wanted.

The Magician opens up and and tells about his past, how he felt like an outsider growing up and that that feeling continues a bit in this game. OK so, I feel as though these episodes are getting more emotional overtime and listen, I had a baby 7 months ago so I'm emotional enough at the best of times, so this is really starting to crack me. I'm going to be like permanently puffy a puffer fish who got stuck in 'puff mode.'

Flick is in damage control, trying to convince everyone that what Nick was saying wasn't true and blah blah blah, not worth writing coz it's all a lie. Her plan is to try and get Sue on board with the girls, because they have the power of 3, plus the Hot Sam and Lee alliance, therefore with Sue, that would make them a solid 6 and they could pick off people one by one. What I don't get is that there are just as many people there who are NOT in their alliance, so why don't they all join forces and fight back? Stop trying to break in somewhere when you are in a pretty good position. I know, I'm so wise and full of strategic wisdom it just makes me sick! Anyway, Sue plays along with her little game, fully aware of what Flick is doing. She's a clever ol' duck this one, I love her spunk. Break them apart Sue!

Kylie has a little chat with us and thinks she is all cool with the Elle, Flick, Brook alliance. Listen Kylie, lets talk... You're not... You're not in their group, they don't want to be your friend, they aren't going to invite you over for a sleepover, they never have been your friend and never will. You need to let it go. Open you're damn eyes and look at the other people around you. You're giving me the shits.

The Immunity Challenge. Ok, so they've jumped back to the 'difficult to describe' challenges. So there's a balance beam, they have to build as they walk over it The first 6 to make it go to the next level. The next level is a really wobbly ladder/bridge thing they must cross, top 3 go to the next next level. The final level is, they have to get balls in three different box things. First to get all three balls in wins. Does that make sense? If it doesn't then, I don't know...I don't know... So the first 4 to drop out are briskly told they are off to Exile Island... um...did I miss something? What is this Island and why have I never heard about it before? What happens there? What's happening? No explanation... nothing. Fine, Survivor, be that way.  So the rest of the none shunned people continue you on to the next stage with the weird bridge thing. The 3 winners are Jenna Louise, Brooke and Elle. We all want Jenna to win, let's be honest. And thankfully, the Survivor gods listen and she does. So now we have done that, whats the deal with Exile Island?

Oh, it's called Exile Beach! ...So they arrive and there is a sign saying there is an immunity idol hiding somewhere on the island. Flick convinces everyone not to look for the idol... AND THEY LISTEN TO HER! What is going on with these people?? As if you would listen to her? She doesn't want anyone to have it.

Back on the non-exile island, they are all trying to figure out who to vote for. Kylie, yet again thinks she is besties with people who are all literally saying they are going to vote her out. It's actually quite frustrating to watch. I just wish people would open their eyes and go, "Hey, those 3 girls seem to be making a lot of decisions and have a really high chance of winning, maybe I'll get the majority of the group who are all flapping out like headless chickens together and vote THEM out, thereby increasing my chances of winning because they are ultimately going to vote me out." But hey....that's just me...

Tribal Council. So everyone is reunited. Our new jury enters... look, it's just Nick at this point. Nick enters with a newly shaved face and looking as bitter as ever. Flick acts all innocent and blabs about how she isn't a power player in the game, Kylie smiles at her bestie, coz they are best friends forever who would never vote each other out... *eye roll* *Bang head on wall* *Make weird grunting noise*. So off they go and vote. Kylie blabbers on about the group being united and I dunno, peace and love... But then, the weirdest thing happens... Kylie gets voted out! No! I'm shocked! They were all best friends for life, the united alliance of awesome buddies, positive friends in Rainbow Land!

Look, she had to go. Can someone please get some balls now and fight against those 3 girls?!

Hope you enjoyed and I shall check in with you tomorrow for more recapping awesomeness! If you want to check me on on some kinda of platform thats really social, maybe look here:
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Wednesday, 28 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor recap ep.16

The episode starts off with the Bitch Brigade having a whinge about Hot Sam and how thry're pissed off and don't trust him... you guys say that about everyone. Not a very nice way to kick off the show. LEAVE SAM ALONE!!! Like that Britney video? No? Ok... On a more positive note... Nick now has something new to complain about. If he didn't have the Immunity Idol last night he would have been in serious trouble and now he is feeling very betrayed by his alliance. He is planning revenge by, "Chopping them off at the knees," but I don't think any 'chopping' will be going on by Nick... you'll be voted out next buddy...

Brooke pipes up with the whole, "Hot Sam is crap," thing. Hot Sam says he finally stood up and did what he felt was right, not what he was TOLD to do. You Glen Coco!! The girls obviously don't like that and start, "Woe is Nick, poor Nick" stuff which we all know is a lie, because he annoys them. Nick joins in on the guilt party saying he isn't a liar or a 'snake' but it's like, we can all see what you do, we watch the show... It's on camera! I'm feeling a little frustrated... Can you tell? Maybe I need a hobby and need to not be so emotionally involved, but you know... YOLO.

The Reward Challenge. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother brings up the subject of, "What do you miss most?" Nick starts the crying act. I say 'act' because I kind of feel like he is putting on this whole being super sad and emotional act to make people feel sorry for him, thereby not voting for him again. It could just be me and maybe he is genuinely sad but... I dunno... he is pretty dodgy, I think he might be a Fakey McFakerson. Anyway, the reward challenge is, they are split into two teams and they must go through some kind of obstacle course, they get rings and have to throw them onto a hook... First team to have all their rings on hooks wins! The prize? Letters from home. *Cue tears*. They haven't even read them yet and they are crying already. Totes emosh episode tonight guys.

There's a big slide for them all to go down, that must cheer them up, surely!? Anyway, so after they all throw their rings at a hook for awhile, one of the teams won. Yeah I know, not helpful, but I don't know how to describe them anymore! They have NO NAMES!!! How shattered would you be to miss out on that reward! Bahh! I feel for you peeps who lost! It was actually really lovely because The Magician was quite emotional just at the thought of getting a letter... but lost. Kristie, and I know I give her a lot of shit, does a super nice thing and gives her winning spot to him and Elle gives hers to Flick. So lovely! That would have been a really big sacrifice, so good on you girls! God, so many feels going on this episode, wheres the bloody chocolate when you need it?!

The winners of the challenge all gather round and are given cups of tea and get to read their letters. Cute! They read them out to one another and its bloody emotional. Everyone is crying... I'm crying, my dog crying, I think I even heard a whimper from next door... I'll check on her later. It's just a mess tonight, whats the deal? Can we have bit of warning puh-lease?!  Hot Sam gets a cute letter form his mum, The Magician gets a beautiful letter from his fiance and Lee... bahh gets a letter about his boys and watching him cry is like watching a child when their ice-cream falls on the ground, except not funny... just sad... On a serious note, don't cry too much because it'll take about 4 tears and you will all have dehydration.

Nick and Lee have a heart to heart to sort out any issues that may have come from the last tribal council. All seems quite good, he then grabs Hot Sam and I think he doesn't quite believe the innocent act Nick is playing. But then again, Hot Sam can be hard to read sometimes so who knows.

The Immunity Challenge. This one is pretty easy to explain. You must hang onto a pole for as long as you can. I feel as though, all of a sudden, the creativity in these challenges has been killed... and its body hidden in a random field. Question, how did they get to the tops of the poles? Because they are really high. Also side note, Anthony LaPaglia's Brother has quite a nice tan going on.
What else can we talk about while they all hug a pole like a koala?
Umm do you think the spiders on the island are bad? I reckon they would be.
They have currently been up there for nearly 4 hours.
There is about 4 of them left.
Wouldn't heat stroke get to you?
Do they give them water?
How would you get the water up there? A pulley system? Who knows?

I really don't know what else to say here because it's literally just people hanging onto a pole.
We are now at 5 hours and 20 minutes and we just have Kylie and Brooke left. Such a lonnnnng time! Anthony Lapgalia's Brother is only now, impressed by the way, the first 5 hours wasn't impressive enough? Brooke decides to make a deal by giving up immunity and letting Kylie win in exchange for a letter from home. Done deal. Challenge over. Kylie wins.

Back at camp, Brooke gets her letter and again, more crying. This is killing me, I cry at dog food ads let alone stuff like this. My heart, so many strings pulled... So back to everyone plotting against everyone. Nick immediately puts Sue's name out there, shocker, and it quite pleased with himself for putting his order to the group. However, majority seems to be looking over at him for someone to vote out. Please do it. No wait, Flick doesn't want to vote Nick out. Of course you don't, you want to be difficult at all times. But then they all are voting for Nick, but some are Sue, but no one really nows. Are you confused? So am I...

How full on is the music at Tribal Council? It's like they are in some den from Indiana Jones where they will have to fight for their lives and run away from boulders. Are we all going to play nice tonight or are we all going to have another argument? So, The Magician starts talking about how he has 99% confidence in all his buddies here. I'm sorry but don't have that, because the girls have you on their list of people to go. Nick starts the guilt trip and makes the mistake of saying he gave up a lot to be there and a lot of people jump in to say they have as well. Hot Sam even goes as far as saying there are plenty of other people who have gone that deserve to still be here for than Nick. Oooooooh... we're getting fights again. Hot Sam, you really throw it out there at Tribal council don't you?! I love it. Nick then tells everyone that the core alliance is Flick, Elle and Brooke, everyone else is on the outer and are not as close to them as they think. That seems to piss everyone off, he seems to be just casually digging his own grave. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother drops the news that whoever is voted out tonight will become the first person to join the Jury, who will decide the winner at the end. So you would want to start being nice to everyone at this point of the game. The votes are counted and thank god, Nick is out. He does a pretty convincing job that he's alright with the fact he got booted, but going by how well we took it last time, I don't think it's the last we'll hear about it. You'd hate to be Hot Sam at the very end and have to face Nick in the jury... That'd be awkward.

Alright so, another episode done and dusted. I feel really emotional and mentally drained after all that.  I don't even know what day it is anymore. I hope you have all been enjoying these recaps, be sure to jump over to my socials and let me know any thoughts/questions/concerns/ or just random love you may have.

Until next time, here is a video of fainting goats...

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Monday, 26 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap Ep. 15

Episode 15: The episode where shit got real...

We start our episode with Flick, clearly impressed with the fact that she got Connor voted out. Karma my friend...that's all I have to say. There is a clear divide between the tribe - the original Gryffindors and then the rest of the newbies with Kylie. It is kind of turning into 'goodies versus baddies'...but some of the baddies aren't really baddies... but some are... it's complicated...

Speaking of Good vs Bad, Kylie and Kate are talking about finding all the goodies and making a super alliance to get those baddies out. We are talking about you and your buddies! To be honest I'm still disappointed with Hot Sam and his dog move against Connor... so I'm hoping he is going to redeem himself tonight. Flick, Elle and Brooke are planning on getting Kate out next, using their little puppets, that are the boys. Kate decides to make a move and draws a nice little picture in the sand for Lee and Hot Sam, basically telling them they are little pawns and will eventually get voted out. So they all conspire together and decide to vote out... Nick... Why though? Wouldn't it be smarter to get rid of one of the three girls? They are all in a strong alliance and call all the shots so... why not break up the band? I don't get it... I should be on this show, but I actually like showers... and not being severely malnourished...

The girls create their own beauty salon, because they only JUST realised they stink. The two boys, Lee and Hot Sam approach Kristie to join their little, "Get rid of Nick" plan they have going on. As if she is going to say no to them... but then again... it's Kristie... enough said... Watch out boys, she might try and control your mind with her crazy eyes... Nick is busy being bossed around by the girls, who basically bully him into voting for Kate at the next tribal council, he's their little bitch. He wants Sue to go because, all together now, "She voted him out last time and he wants revenge blah blah blah..." Sue seems to reciprocate the feelings and wants to vote Nick out.

The Immunity Challenge... So I wasn't actually watching this when it was happening and totally didn't know what was going on... but it took me about 2 seconds to figure it out... They have a ring and must spin a ball around the ring... if your ball falls out that's bad, if you ball stays in, thats good. These challenges are just getting REALLY intense now they have merged.... first a 'hug the pole' session and now 'swing a ball around a ring' one... next time it'll be, "Pin the vein on Anthony LaPaglia's Brothers arm." They all drop out pretty quick, only 4 left at 14 minutes. Anthony Lapaglia's Brother commentates the whole thing... like how do you commentate this to make it interesting? He says things like "Sam and Elle have a chat" or "Elle sings to herself."... We know... we can see them... we are watching it happen as you're saying it. We're all of a sudden at the 1 hour down mark and Lee and Elle are the only ones left. By this point, even Anthony LaPaglia's Brother sounds bored out of his mind and his enthusiasm has gone from a level 7 to a solid 2... Elle eventually won and everyone, including half of Australia are happy this thrilling challenge took as long as it did, and is over... FOREVER.

Ok so, we are all talking about voting everyone out again. Meanies are still voting for Kate and I'm hoping Hot Sam and Lee actually stick to the plan and vote Nick out with the goodies. Come on Hot Sam, now is your chance to redeem yourself for the whole Connor incident... Kylie all of a sudden is all buddy buddy with the girls... they don't like you... go with the Goodies! Why is everyone being so annoying! You're all losing your minds... Then bloody Kylie goes and blabs to Brooke... bloody hell... Ok, now I get why no one likes her! So obviously Brooke tells Flick and they are super pissed at Hot Sam. Brooke even says, "Im so mad, after tonight I'm not going to talk to him"... coz we're all in primary school and he can't play with us anymore. So now everyone is pissed off and Hot Sam is getting an ass whooping from the girls, everyone is confused and annoyed and I'm annoyed by everyone. So who is going to get voted out? I don't even know anymore...

We are now at Tribal Council... It's all still very dodgy, Kate is the only one who seems to know what's happening and is pretty sure she is going home tonight. I hope not because she seems like such a chiller. Kate does get bit sassy and basically says the mean girls are planting seeds and everyone is just going along with it. Good on you girlfriend, you might as well just put it all out there, you have nothing to lose, and they are really giving me the shits so I agree with you. Nick pipes up and says something about... I don't know, something stupid, but then says he, "Considers Kate a good friend" and he gets a good eye roll from everyone. Kate doesn't take his crap and just says he is a liar, he says he has never lied and Hot Sam disagrees and says yep, you're liar, Nick says no he isn't and everyone is getting visibly pissed off with all the bullshit coming out of Nick's mouth... Lee openly says he is getting bored of listening to him. Lee's actually getting really pissed off and says this whole thing has made him change his mind of how he wants to vote, I reckon he would be scary to have a fight with. Super nice people can be really scary when they're mad. God Kate has really started something here hasn't she? If Nick plays the Immunity Idol, I swear... I will just sit here and complain... because what else can I do? NOTHING! Oh fuck, Nick plays the stupid Immunity Idol... and Kate gets voted out.

Now I'm really pissed. I'm so annoyed at everyone who didn't vote for Nick. Kylie, that was such a dog act and you of all people should be voting for the goodies considering the others have been horrible to you. As for the Bitchy Brigade, you're all equally annoying, you have ashamed yourselves and your village. I'm so glad this episode is over so I can go and rant and not like you in peace.

BAH! What a yucky end to that episode. I need to go and find some serious zen now... I shall return in a peaceful state for tonight...
*Insert stomping and door slam*

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Sunday, 25 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap Ep. 14

Episode 14: The one where IthinktheymaypossiblybemergingcoztheadstoldusallweeksoIthinkitshappeningtonight...

Now I don't want to ruin the surprise for tonight, even though we have seen the ads for the, "game-changing merge" for tonights show about 4000 times this week, but I think there might be some kind of game-changing event, like a merging of tribes...tonight...on the show.

We start our episode off in the concentration camp that is, Hufflepuff. The 3 remaining Hufflepuff members are literally wasting away with next to no food. Look, I take my hat off to them, I couldn't deal being that hungry, by now I would've literally used my own arm as bait to catch a shark and eat it... alive. Then eaten my arm. For protein.

The well fed Gryffindor stomp into this reward challenge like the mighty power team that they are, while Hufflepuff saunter in be pushed along by the wind. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother drops the bombshell, that NO ONE was expecting, the two tribes are merging! Hufflepuff are silently whispering, "Thank fuck," while Nick is waaaaaay too enthusiastic, it kind of scares me...he points a lot and says, "Say it!! Say it!" Very aggressively about 40 times. He will say it, but if you interrupt him by saying, "Say it," then he can't say what he wants to say! So they are officially merged and are now competing as individuals. No more Hufflepuff and Gryffindor... That's sad...

So this reward is the famous auction challenge, where they basically auction off food and they must all bid,. The highest bidder... you know what an auction is. It's an auction. The first item is salt and vinegar chips and a coke. Connor looks at it like it's the first bit of food he has ever seen in like, 30 days...oh wait...he was on 'no-win-no-food Hufflepuff.' He won his little chippies and even won some drinks for his buddies. Cute. Connor bids again for the next item, chocolate cake and chocolate milk. He literally bids all his money... got a little excited there, the auction JUST started. Hot Sam wins some nachos, my favourite meal I want nachos... The nachos needed more cheese though. They give out some secret advantages, some spaghetti (YUM) and then all of a sudden, it's done. Sucks if you didn't bid, I'm looking at the majority of you! Snooze you lose!

They are all back at their new camp. Everyones brains are going into hyper drive. Flick is freaking out at all the new people she can make an alliance with, Nick is freaking out at all the new people he can annoy and be bitter about, being kicked out with and Connor, he is just really happy to finally be included. Flick is super bitter at Connor for some reason, I don't even really remember what he did. Flick, Brooke and Elle are making a little Bitch Brigade, already planning on not speaking to people...coz thats super mature and awesome of you. However on the flip side, Connor is recruiting members to make his own army. Watch out Flick, he's coming for you.

Lee and Nick were the two members who won an advantage at the auction. Lee has gained the power to stop one member from voting and Nick won an clue to a hidden immunity idol... cue footage of him running around like a mad man trying to find it. Remember when he had that clue last time? That went well... except he didn't ever find it. Lee watches him running around like a ferret, very amused. Nick immediately shows him the clue, what the hell is wrong with you dude? Stop bloody telling people you have a clue to an immunity idol. He does find it this time. Clap...clap... we get to keep your butt around for a while longer...

The Bitch Brigade make friendship bracelets and only give it to their friends, no one else. Next they'll be screaming "YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!" Kristie gets one to, I guess maybe to try and get her on their side. Connor has a slight hernia, freaking out at the thought that his alliance could be falling apart.

The Immunity Challenge. Ok, so this is the first immunity challenge for them fighting as individuals. Basically what they need to do is hold onto a pole upside down - so you are pretty much hugging it, and hold on for dear life. If you drop off, you're out. The Magician and Hot Sam are out first. What's up with that guys? If another one of my predictions to win goes then I dunno...I guess it'll just give me something else to whinge about. They slowly drop off, literally drop off, one by one. Kate is like a super pole hugging master. She must be channeling Zen Master Craig here. The girls hang in there (pun intended) for ages. How bored would you be if you dropped off early? At this point you would have been sitting there for 75 minutes watching people dangle from a pole. Anthony Lapaglia's Brother obviously wants to get out of there and speeds up the game by making them all remove one arm. Both Kristie and Kylie don't listen to instructions because they were clearly told about 20 times, you cannot swap arms. So they both swap arms and Brooke wins by default. Kind of an anti-climax.

So we are back in camp and everyone is talking about everyone. It looks like the big targets are Connor or Flick. Nick is doing a lot of talking and making some plan of how to get rid of Connor with his little bitchy Bitch Brigade. Hot Sam and Lee, god love them, don't like Nick and don't want to go along with his plan. They don't want to vote for Connor and may consider jumping over to his team. Wouldn't that be good, Connor would probably wee himself bit from happiness to have his pals back. Connor is trying to grab a private moment with Hot Sam and bloody Brooke tags along like a desperado, it's awkward. Connor and Hot Sam are trying to have a conversation through intense eyeball stares while Brooke stands there like a knob. It's actually really annoying. Why when someones says, "Hey can I talk to that person privately?" would you just tag along? Why? Coz you're a moron. Kristie was obviously really emotionally invested with her friendship bracelet and seems to have been swayed to the dark side. Kate does her best to try and bring her back, but we all know Kristie... She has about 4 people living in that brain.

The first Tribal Council as one team is on, everyone talks very cryptically and there are a lot of close ups on eyes. So really, it's like every other tribal council. Nick talks a lot of the time, he seems to know a lot about everything doesn't he? Brooke wears the ridiculously huge immunity necklace. The pink friendship band is mentioned, everyone wearing one has to put up there hands, to show how sad they are. Except you Hot Sam, you don't count. So they did the votes and I don't understand where the planning was, because they were all over the shop. Poor Connor though, he was voted out. Their alliance just didn't get their shit together and I have no idea who they voted for. It's sad, I liked Connor he seems so lovely. I'm a bit surprised by Hot Sam, he said he wouldn't be voting for Connor because it wasn't the right thing to do, YET he did... What's up with that Hot Sam? Interesting AND disappointing.

Alrighty, so the merge happened. The rumours were true! I shall check in with you all tomorrow for the next instalment of... "The show where Nick talks too much."

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Wednesday, 21 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep. 14

Episode 13: The one where they still don't merge...

Tonights episode starts off in Gryffindor, with Brooke bringing their new member Sue into camp. Cue Nick going on and on about how, "They voted me out, I want revenge, they were so mean to me, but I'm not bitter at all." Seriously dude, get over it. Get. Over. It.

Back at no friends Hufflepuff, they return with only 4 members... They are already planning who they will vote out next, because even they know they are going to lose everything. Phoebe is starting to get  a little cocky with her brain washing power. May bite you in the bum soon love... Her current plan is to get Kristie voted out, whilst maintaining a sense of security for Kristie, so she doesn't get suspicious... then they accidentally set their shelter on fire. They find it quite funny, I guess that's all that matters.

In the Gryffindor camp, Sue is settling in to her new life on the winning side. Incase you forgot, Hufflepuff actually voted Nick out. Remember that? Remember? Yeah, we all remember because thats literally all he talks about. Nick confronts Sue about his betrayal and she fronts up saying he lied to her and she didn't trust him. Fair enough. It's ok, Nick isn't "angry or bitter."  He then proceeds to be angry and bitter about everything and they have little tiff. She ends it but doing an amazingly patronising move and telling him to, "Lower it". That shut him up. Nice one Sue.

The Reward/Immunity Challenge. So here we are again with Hufflepuff's tiny little group versus the giant 'league' that is the Gryffindor camp. OK, so the challenge by one they run to a pole which they run around in circles, staring at the ground and unscrewing a puzzle bag. They then dizzily need to run over a plank, then repeat the walking in a circle thing, then walk over tree stumpy things to get to the end. They must all do this, then put together yet another puzzle. If they win they not only win immunity, but a giant breakfast feast thanks to the repeatedly used sponsor that is, 'Hungry Jacks'. It's quite a funny one to watch, because after they all spin around in circles, they are running around like a drunk at a piss up. The Magician stacks it and I'm honestly surprised there were no rice spews. I hate spinning, I would be the one to throw up for sure if I did that. I'm just babbling here because we all know who won and if I just keep getting straight to it, I'll have nothing to talk about... Hufflepuff lost. Why did you put Kate on puzzle duty again? She isn't good! It's just sad now, they have no one left... Just give them a damn burger for Gods sake. Gryffindor are going to end up obese if they keep winning at this rate.

Gryffindor enjoy their toasties, egg and bacon muffins, coffee and whatever else they got thats going to make their stomachs want to die. Sue is thanking her lucky stars she is finally on a winning team and is reminded of what actual food tastes like. How lucky is Jenna Louise? She was taken from Hufflepuff on to a team that literally hasn't lost, has been able to eat all this yummy food and is no longer bottom of the food chain. Lucky duck!

So now the battle of Phoebe versus Kristie begins. Phoebe has been sneaking around, turning Kate and Connor against her former partner. She tries to comfort Kristie by saying Connor is with them but Kate wants to vote her out. Kristie then wants to confront Kate, but since this is all a lie, Phoebe tries to convince her to stay quiet. Kristie becomes suspicious of Phoebes desperation and does indeed confront Kate, to find out that her mate, well... isn't her mate. Kristie turns a little scary and I'm pretty sure she can read minds and has the power to destroy your soul with her thoughts. Her smile is kind of like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining', so Phoebe you might want to get the hell out of there, I think she has an axe hidden in her weird, plait hairstyle. Things get super tense and awkward when they have a conversation with each other, both pretending everything is cool, but I felt uncomfortable watching it. Both Connor and Kate are doing a pretty convincing job of agreeing with both of them, so who really knows which way the votes will go?

So we head over to tribal council and I was pretty convinced there were be a twist and a merge would happen. Nope, they are literally getting rid of another Hufflepuff member. This part doesn't take long because there are only 4 people but Anthony LaPaglia's Brother tries his hardest to waste time by asking them all literally the same questions... Over and over and over... and over. He asks Kristie about 5 times who she is voting for. Dude! She's not going to tell you! Stop! I think I fell asleep with my eyes open for a second. My eyeballs are super dry. Eventually we get to the votes and again, doesn't take long. I thought they would be giving Kristie the boot but nope, the biggest Survivor player, Phoebe, is out. I'm kinda disappointed because she just played the game sooo well. I thought she deserved to win.

I have also just realised all the people I listed who I thought would win, are being voted out one by one. Is it me? Is this my fault? I apologise to Hot Sam, Lee and The Magician now for any voting off that may occur. My bad...

Head over to my Twitter and give us a follow to read my live tweets throughout the episodes. Also check me out on Instagram for all my random pics. I'd love to hear from you guys, it's always nice to hear any feedback and to know there are people out there reading my ramblings!

Have a great week and until next time... Never eat dairy that you've left in the car all day!

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