Wednesday, 21 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep. 14

Episode 13: The one where they still don't merge...

Tonights episode starts off in Gryffindor, with Brooke bringing their new member Sue into camp. Cue Nick going on and on about how, "They voted me out, I want revenge, they were so mean to me, but I'm not bitter at all." Seriously dude, get over it. Get. Over. It.

Back at no friends Hufflepuff, they return with only 4 members... They are already planning who they will vote out next, because even they know they are going to lose everything. Phoebe is starting to get  a little cocky with her brain washing power. May bite you in the bum soon love... Her current plan is to get Kristie voted out, whilst maintaining a sense of security for Kristie, so she doesn't get suspicious... then they accidentally set their shelter on fire. They find it quite funny, I guess that's all that matters.

In the Gryffindor camp, Sue is settling in to her new life on the winning side. Incase you forgot, Hufflepuff actually voted Nick out. Remember that? Remember? Yeah, we all remember because thats literally all he talks about. Nick confronts Sue about his betrayal and she fronts up saying he lied to her and she didn't trust him. Fair enough. It's ok, Nick isn't "angry or bitter."  He then proceeds to be angry and bitter about everything and they have little tiff. She ends it but doing an amazingly patronising move and telling him to, "Lower it". That shut him up. Nice one Sue.

The Reward/Immunity Challenge. So here we are again with Hufflepuff's tiny little group versus the giant 'league' that is the Gryffindor camp. OK, so the challenge is...one by one they run to a pole which they run around in circles, staring at the ground and unscrewing a puzzle bag. They then dizzily need to run over a plank, then repeat the walking in a circle thing, then walk over tree stumpy things to get to the end. They must all do this, then put together yet another puzzle. If they win they not only win immunity, but a giant breakfast feast thanks to the repeatedly used sponsor that is, 'Hungry Jacks'. It's quite a funny one to watch, because after they all spin around in circles, they are running around like a drunk at a piss up. The Magician stacks it and I'm honestly surprised there were no rice spews. I hate spinning, I would be the one to throw up for sure if I did that. I'm just babbling here because we all know who won and if I just keep getting straight to it, I'll have nothing to talk about... Hufflepuff lost. Why did you put Kate on puzzle duty again? She isn't good! It's just sad now, they have no one left... Just give them a damn burger for Gods sake. Gryffindor are going to end up obese if they keep winning at this rate.

Gryffindor enjoy their toasties, egg and bacon muffins, coffee and whatever else they got thats going to make their stomachs want to die. Sue is thanking her lucky stars she is finally on a winning team and is reminded of what actual food tastes like. How lucky is Jenna Louise? She was taken from Hufflepuff on to a team that literally hasn't lost, has been able to eat all this yummy food and is no longer bottom of the food chain. Lucky duck!

So now the battle of Phoebe versus Kristie begins. Phoebe has been sneaking around, turning Kate and Connor against her former partner. She tries to comfort Kristie by saying Connor is with them but Kate wants to vote her out. Kristie then wants to confront Kate, but since this is all a lie, Phoebe tries to convince her to stay quiet. Kristie becomes suspicious of Phoebes desperation and does indeed confront Kate, to find out that her mate, well... isn't her mate. Kristie turns a little scary and I'm pretty sure she can read minds and has the power to destroy your soul with her thoughts. Her smile is kind of like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining', so Phoebe you might want to get the hell out of there, I think she has an axe hidden in her weird, plait hairstyle. Things get super tense and awkward when they have a conversation with each other, both pretending everything is cool, but I felt uncomfortable watching it. Both Connor and Kate are doing a pretty convincing job of agreeing with both of them, so who really knows which way the votes will go?

So we head over to tribal council and I was pretty convinced there were be a twist and a merge would happen. Nope, they are literally getting rid of another Hufflepuff member. This part doesn't take long because there are only 4 people but Anthony LaPaglia's Brother tries his hardest to waste time by asking them all literally the same questions... Over and over and over... and over. He asks Kristie about 5 times who she is voting for. Dude! She's not going to tell you! Stop! I think I fell asleep with my eyes open for a second. My eyeballs are super dry. Eventually we get to the votes and again, doesn't take long. I thought they would be giving Kristie the boot but nope, the biggest Survivor player, Phoebe, is out. I'm kinda disappointed because she just played the game sooo well. I thought she deserved to win.

I have also just realised all the people I listed who I thought would win, are being voted out one by one. Is it me? Is this my fault? I apologise to Hot Sam, Lee and The Magician now for any voting off that may occur. My bad...

Head over to my Twitter and give us a follow to read my live tweets throughout the episodes. Also check me out on Instagram for all my random pics. I'd love to hear from you guys, it's always nice to hear any feedback and to know there are people out there reading my ramblings!

Have a great week and until next time... Never eat dairy that you've left in the car all day!

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Tuesday, 20 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor recap ep. 13

Episode 13. Children of the Corn...

So we start our episode in the Hufflepuff camp, they are all pretending to be ok with the fact that Phoebe totally blindsided ALL of them, except Kristie. I mean Kristie won't tell you that, in fact, she refuses to admit it. Everyone knows she knows, but she won't tell them she knew what they know she knows...get me? Good.

Over at Gryffindor, everyone is all chirpy because they are literally kicking ass at everything. Nick talks about the fact that he is happy Hufflepuff are losing, coz remember, they voted him out. Remember? Remember how he talks about it all the time? Yeah, same...

Hufflepuff aren't chirpy, at all. They are all plotting to get rid of their next member, which I assume will be at the next tribal council because they live there now. Kristie is bit of an interesting one. Definitely fits the Hufflepuff stereotype... kind of odd. She is currently fishing with Rohan's pants... As you do...

The reward challenge. It's kind of sad when you compare Gryffindor to Hufflepuff. I mean, they have about 45 members compared to Hufflepuff's 5. OK they have 9, but still, there's a massive difference and Hufflepuff are just like deers in the headlight. At least they try. The reward for this challenge is a massive Samoan feast that the winning team can gorge themselves on. For this challenge, it's basically a memory game. One player from each team is shown a sequence of items, they must then remember the order that the items are in and copy them. Whoever gets it right, gets a point, first to 5 points wins. I myself am TERRIBLE at memory challenges, I tried to play along but really, why bother? It's quite a close game, kind of... But ultimately Gryffindor win. Come on guys, this isn't even a physical challenge! If I were in Hufflepuff, I'd be banging my head on a coconut by now.

Gryffindor claim there gigantic feast and stuff themselves full of amazing food... you will regret that. Not eating basically anything, to eating a massive meal of pork, crab, lobster and everything else they had is not going to go down well with your stomach... Oh no wait... here we go. Hot Sam is spewing and they're all basically lying on the ground in pain, wishing for death.

It's cute, they cut over to Hufflepuff who are enjoying their own feast... of snails that Kristie found in the water... Yummy guys... well done... you're winners... too... *awkwardly walks away*

Back over at Gryffindor, they still have a chicken... Didn't they set all the chickens free? Kylie approaches all the girls in the tribe and suggests possibly forming an all girl alliance. It's super awkward because basically no one responds to her... Yeah, like, serious crickets chirping moment.

In Hufflepuff they are all having a deep and meaningful about how honest they all are. Especially Kristie, because apparently she can't lie. That's what she says. Wait, what about the whole, "Not knowing Phoebe was going to play the idol but you really knew" thing you did? That EVERYONE knows about? Don't keep lying dude, just admit it, because you're starting to look like an idiot! Phoebe has now planned to ditch her buddy Kristie and sets out to have her thrown under the bus next. She quickly spins her magical web around the other members of the tribe who all agree to vote her out. It didn't take much convincing because the whole, "I never lie" thing Kristie is doing is giving everybody the shits.

The immunity challenge. Honestly I don't know why Hufflepuff bother turning up at this point. Look let's keep this simple. There are canoes, ropes, people pulling the canoes, then a puzzle. Always a damn puzzle. I'm not even going to go into much detail because it's getting THAT sad. Hufflepuff lost. Gryffindor won, and not only did they win, but they get another, 'Game changing advantage.' One of their tribe members gets to attend tribal council to get an insight into what the G.O. in the other tribe is. It's not really an advantage when you already win every challenge and have double the amount of tribe members, but sure...

Hufflepuff are now in their, "Lets get rid of Kristie," action plan. Kristie is getting weirder as we go on. Have you seen "Children of the corn"? You know, the kids with the crazy eyes that stare into your soul? Yep...thats what we are dealing with here. Phoebe and Connor trick Kristie into thinking that they are voting for Sue... I wouldn't bother... I think she can read your minds...

So Tribal council time... Hufflepuff have been joined by Brooke from Gryffindor as their spy. Anthony LaPaglia's Brother asks the usual, "How do you feel about being a loser?" questions, even he is running out of things to talk about with them, they are there that much. They then reach the subject of Kristie knowing about the idol, and it gets super awkward. She starts going on about how she doesn't lie, something about having a mental breakdown at the beginning, and then she starts crying and the words don't really become coherent. So I don't know what she was saying. But it's awkward... and weird. Just as they are about to vote, Anthony Lapaglia's Brother throws in a little twist. They will NOT be voting someone out tonight. Brooke will actually be choosing someone to steal and take over to Gryffindor. Sneaky!! So she narrows down her decision to either Sue or Phoebe. Phoebe, she feels isn't trustworthy and thereby, chooses Sue. Maybe as an easy person to vote out? I don't know. I really feel bad for Connor, he actually started in Gryffindor and this is twice now they haven't saved his ass from Hufflepuff land.... Why??? Poor Connor... He seems like a nice enough guy, I just don't understand why they keep leaving him out of their club. They have to merge these tribes soon, surely...because it's just getting sad to watch.

So there we have it. Gryffindor wins everything, Hufflepuff lose everything and the crabs seem to be taking over the island in some kind of weird, Crab invasion...
Head over to tweet land to see my live tweets during the show and also the other socials to just... I dunno... chat about what you're having for dinner.

Until next time...which is tonight...

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Sunday, 18 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep. 12

Episode 12. The awesomeness of Phoebe!

I feel as though every episode of this show is getting better and better. Tonight was an absolute corker... God never let me say "corker" again... Ever.

We start our episode in Gryffindor camp. It's really weird...there is this awkward fight about...I think bed space? Basically they were all squishing into a "bed" together, and for some reason Kylie didn't want to move over. I don't get it...it was really random. First of all, you are sleeping on the ground, you don't have a bed. Secondly, just move over man...seriously... The Magician got quite emotional about it and walked off all huffy... He's bit cranky in this ep. You ok buddy? Bit over it? Bit hangry? The morning after the awkward fight thing, Kylie apologies for not moving over... Thrilling... Why did I even need to write a paragraph that big about someone not moving over? I'm kind of disappointed in myself...

Hufflepuff. A much less annoying Hufflepuff now that Andrew has gone. Poor Connor is feeling bit betrayed that Kate went against their stupid 5 alliance, it's stupid because they AREN'T a good 5... except you Craig...love your work man! But I personally love her for it, he needed to go so bad. He was literally the most annoying person I have ever not met. Over to Phoebe, the sneaky rascal. She is well aware she is going to be next at tribal council which, going by their track record, shouldn't be too far away. I love Phoebe, she plays this game so damn well and it makes me like, weirdly excited that she has an Immunity Idol that no one knows about. All I know is, I'm excited to watch this all unfold... The next 5 minutes are spent watching Craig try and find an idol that is in Phoebes possession, unbeknownst to Craig. Unbeknownst is a weird word to look at isn't it? Is it a word? Spell check says no, but I swear it is...

Back over at Crankydor, Hot Sam and Lee are being super manly and show off their fishing skills. They are honestly the best power couple, they seem lovely, they're guns at challenges, they're not unattractive. I *heart* them. Poor Magician is a bit sooky because all the girls are loving having a perve on Lee and he is left out. It's alright man, I still love you! Seriously though, do the Magician thing and do an awesome trick, you'll win them back! Plus, I want to see one.  All the girls are a bit pissy with the Magician now.  They're such a Crankydor today, all of you need a group hug and a big bowl-full of "get over it". Except you Hot Sam, you're not phased by anything. 10 points Sammydor!

The Immunity Challenge. We were on such a good run and then they have to pull this crap on me. How the hell do I explain this one? Let me do this in dot points.

  • The first person flings a coconut through a goal post using a sling shot.
  • One of the other tribe tries to block them
  • Then someone must catch the coconut.
  • They then run over a pool of mud on a plank, while dodging sandbags that the other team are throwing at them...
  • They then need to do like a connect 5 puzzle thing at the end.
  • First to get 5 coconuts in a line win!
I think that actually made sense. Go me! Why do they even bother with challenges anymore? Gryffindor just make it look easy and Hufflepuff just...don't... Obviously, they lose... again. Maybe they should just merge them all together soon and put them out of their misery. I have a question though, so many of the girls do these challenges in their bikinis... I'd be pretty concerned about the ol' boob flashing situation you'd have going on... Does that happen? Or are they magical bikinis?

So this is where it starts getting awesome! Now, Hufflepuff are cranky, but that's fair enough they lose everything! Phoebe's plan is this... Find out who the majority 5 are voting for and go from there. She does this by sucking in the easily sucked in Connor, asking him to tell her if she is being voted out. He has a chat with his little buddies and confirms, yes, you're out. She does the whole, "I'm super sad and am going to sit by the ocean and be sad" thing. Excellent. The group then inform Kristie, "Hey soz, we are voting you're buddy out." She tears up all sad and wanders over to super sad Phoebe. LIES! They are not super sad... They're super happy. The plan is, the majority will all vote for Phoebe, she will pull out the idol and BAM! All their votes are out and Phoebe and Kristie's vote win. Its SUCH a good plan! It makes me all giddy...too giddy I feel sick. I love sneaky shit like that and she does it so well. They are all so sucked in, saying how bad they feel, giving them hugs...it's awesome. Who doesn't love a good ol' betrayal of your entire tribe. Brilliant.

So let's quickly sprint over to tribal council, FYI there were TOO many ad breaks in this bit, I just wanted to see this thing happen and it was painful! But anyway, Phoebe's plan literally went step by step how she wanted it to. The moment Anthony Lapaglia's Brother asked if anyone had an Immunity Idol and she piped up... Amazing. I was sitting there with this really weird, open mouthed, crazy smile the whole time. You literally watched all their faces going this horrible grey colour. So proud...until we saw who you guys voted for. You voted Craig out?!! WHAT THE FUCK!? I mean it was like the most bittersweet moment. It's like someone gave to the best high 5 ever but their hand ricocheted off yours and punched you in the face at the same time. Why Craig?? WHYYY!!! You already lose EVERYTHING and he was your only good member, not to mention he is awesome!!! So happy and disappointed at the same time... So many emotions. He was such an awesome loser as well, so lovely and so accepting of the amazing play Phoebe did. Gahh! Breaks my heart. Next they'll vote out Hot Sam and I might as well just give up on everything. OK, now I'm just being overly dramatic. The point is, that was an awesome episode so please keep it up.

As usual, make sure to follow me on all social media places, except the random ones no one uses. I'm not there. Give me a holla as well if you have been reading my posts, always love to hear feed back and we can totally chat about cool stuff... and unicorns.

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Thursday, 15 September 2016

3 Summer Fashions Must-Haves

First of all...can I just say how happy and pleased and all other kinds of positive emotions, I am about Winter finally leaving our shores and Summer is creeping closer and closer...Unless you aren't from Australia...you'll be GETTING winter...teehee

I am SUCH a Summer girl! 100% love Summer, I love the heat, the sun, the beach, ice cream, just the whole Summer vibe. The one thing I will give Winter however, is it does win in the fashion department. I always enjoy buying Winter clothes more than Summer, I think because there are some days where the thought of wearing anything that's not bathers makes you want to cry because it's so damn hot. But I want to change that.

Last year when it was Summer, I was full blown whale pregnant. So basically none of my clothes fit me and I wore the same 3 stretchy dresses on rotation. I now want to burn them. This summer I really want to embrace the whole "fitting into clothes" thing and put bit more effort into my look. I am a massive creature of habit I find when something works for me, I stick with it. So I had a sneaky look around and I wanted to share my 3 favourite looks I'll be rocking this summer, to help inspire those of you in need of a Summer wardrobe shake up.

The Big Sunnies.
I have always loved MASSIVE sunnies. My dad used to tell me I looked like a fly, but I personally think they look awesome. The bigger the better in my opinion. They are also great to hide a no make-up look you may be going on. Lets be honest, there isn't much point wearing make-up in summer unless you want to look like 'The Joker'. You can find a whole bunch of over sized glasses on asos.com! Also check out Chrisppy sunnies! I want them...ALL OF THEM!






The ol t-shirt and shorts.
Look it's a classic and you can't be a classic! This look is simple but can be done in so many ways, so many colours, so much comfort! I'm all for looking awesome in Summer but there are days where its hot and the care factor is very minimal. You want to look good, but you desire to sit in the fridge is too great and I get it. If you can find a few basic t-shirts and mix them with some awesome shorts, particularly nice flow shorts, winner winner chicken dinner!




Off the shoulder.
This is probably my favourite look and definitely something I'll be investing in this summer. Off the shoulder tops and dresses are awesome because they work well down the beach over some bathers, but are great to make it look like you care how you look. Super comfy, nice and breezy plus there are SO many out there at the moment. It's such a nice beach, girly look! Plus if you out in the sun you don't have the annoying strap lines, you're all even Steven!





So Summer, now I know what I'm wearing, you may arrive...please! Pretty please!! I hope you guys enjoyed this little fashion post. If you have any Summer recommendations of your own please feel free to let me know and for more ramblings, don't forget to check out all my social media places to hang!

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Tuesday, 13 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor recap ep. 11

Episode 11: The one where we all really hate Andrew...

Heyyyyy so about yesterday...you may have noticed that there is a recap missing... I do apologise, I had technology problems. You may have also noticed that the blog has had bit of a facelift...hence the technology issues! But I'm back... to make judgments and share my opinions. So I'm sorry, my bad, won't happen again, owe you a coffee, besties forever, call me every 5 minutes...

So quick catch up of Episode 10
- Andrew is a massive knob
- Phoebe, Floppy Hat and Kristie want him gone!
- Gryffindor won everything, Hufflepuff lost everything.
- Hot Sam and Lee are still attractive
- Andrew unfortunately didn't get voted out...
- Floppy Hat was booted! Sad times...

Told you it was quick. So now we are all caught up...

So Andrew's annoying hey? Like, first of all, I know you think you are smart, but saying things like, "Shoot a duck in a barrel" and, "He isn't the sharpest pencil in the pencil case" doesn't do you any favours, and they are extremely irritating and... they're made up sayings. You also don't 'control the game', you aren't the boss, you would be HORRIBLE at marketing, Floppy Hat wouldn't have "cried herself to sleep", pretty sure she left smiling and waving... and I hate your stupid shirt. *exhales* I feel so much better now...

So we wake up in Hufflepuff to Kate doing some weird, 'hitting a pan and making a weird noise and talking in a monotone voice' thing... Hufflepuff are obviously going insane. I think she wants them to do yoga, or its some weird mating call... Oh no wait, it is yoga. Andrew is terrible at it, maybe that's why he is such an asshole... Yoga envy?

Gryffindor peeps are still just being awesome and hanging with chickens. Speaking of chickens, there is a debate of whether or not they kill the chickens, or free them. Nick, who is actually less annoying now that we have been properly introduced to Andrew, is ready for murder, where as The Magician has a special chicken bond going on and is all for Chicken Freedom. I personally couldn't kill them, it's like a pet. I mean, I eat chicken, but killing one is a different story. I don't want to debate about it, I'll leave that to them. So anyway, thumbs up to The Magician and his animal rights. This debate takes up a good chunk of time, but basically they decide to save the chickens. Nick is all suss about The Magician and thinks he is manipulating everyone, nah, I think it's called, "Everyone LIKES him". It's a very foreign concept for you, but I'll explain it one day.

The reward challenge. So Gryffindor start off their challenge by asking to trade their Chickens for something else. They don't really get into it because Anthony LaPaglia's brother basically tells them to shove it and no, no they can't swap their chickens... No... Shut down Gryffindor. Awkward... They are then just stuck their holding the chickens. What are they going to do with them during the reward challenge? They didn't bring a cage or anything? They are literally holding them! The chickens can't compete as members of the tribe, they are chickens. This is never answered unfortunately. So this challenge has all tribe members are tied together and given a 20kg weight. They are all tied to a rope and the object of the game is to catch the other tribe, it's like in a circle thing. If a tribe member drops out, they must give their weight to another person. Does that make sense? I'm terrible at explaining these. I guess all you need to know is that Hufflepuff have basically no physical people left so Gryffindor will probably beat them, I say probably, I mean obviously. They all run around in circles for awhile. Andrew really contributes by not running or putting any effort in what so ever. The magician drops out early, I think he was planning on controlling the game with his mind from the sidelines. Andrew and Sue drop off early, people fall over A LOT, and it quickly comes down to the super power house team of Hot Sam and Lee competing for Gryffindor. Look, they are pretty amazing, they have about 400kg of weights on them (thats an exaggeration) and they storm through the water. The reward is a massive feast of chocolate, so I understand the motivation to win. At one point Hot Sam is charging through the water so fast that Lee gets caught by the ropes and face plants, but Hot Sam still charges on. They quickly catch Hufflepuff and win the game and the amazing feast of chocolate. Any man that can provide you with that much chocolate is a clear legend in my eyes.

The chocolate feast is pretty amazing... I'm actually super pissed off I have no chocolate in my house. Anyway, the feast looks amazing, the chocolate milk on a tropical island might make you feel slightly ill. Seriously, why don't I have chocolate in my house? Hot Sam becomes chocolate drunk, which makes me love him more but chocolate drunkness is the best drunkness. Where did they get chocolate cupcakes on a freakin tropical island with a population of 4? Does it really matter? No... the point is... I really want chocolate... And there's none in my house!

Lets talk about Hufflepuff for a second. So they have this 5 person majority alliance going on. This involves Sue, Craig, Kate, Connor and Andrew - Lord of the World. Their plan is to just vote everyone else off one by one, the thing is though... Craig is the only good one out of you. Kate is ok, but when it comes to winning...anything...you guys aren't really that strong. So voting out the physically stronger members of your tribe is beyond stupid! You guys will get down to your precious 5 and then what? Gryffindor will crush you... Like BEYOND crush you. So you need to not do what your doing. The good thing is that Kate and Craig are starting to see sense. Phoebe and Kristie join forces with Kate on their mutual hate of Andrew, they want to break up this stupid five some and get rid of Andrew, but they need someone else from the 5. I'm looking at you Craig... I'm looking at you! *Insert wide eyed Emjoi*

Immunity Challenge. This one is fairly easy to describe. One man and one woman from each tribe must hold a rope, which is connected to a basket. The other tribe throw coconuts into the baskets, weighing it down coconut by coconut. The people holding the ropes, need to hold on for dear life as the basket gets heavier. If you drop the basket you're out, last person standing wins. Easy? Easy. So we have Hot Sam and Flick for Gryffindor and Zen Master Craig and Sue for Hufflepuff. Gryffindor fill Craig's basket so damn fast and he is in struggle town. But this is 'Zen Master' Craig, so he holds on for a good while but unfortunately... lots of coconuts + sore handsies = Craig Out! The next victim is Hot Sam whose basket is filled slowly, no help from Andrew, who couldn't throw to save his life, but eventually, it is filled and he too, is out. So Flick and Sue are left, Sue gives it a red hot go but ultimately she too is outskies. Not without amazing encouragement from Craig. I love their friendship, it makes my heart warm and fuzzy. Flick won, I think because no one really put any coconuts in her basket. Hufflepuffs...so silly! So Hufflepuff lose AGAIN... And they are off to tribal council... AGAIN.


So Hufflepuff... Remember the whole thing about you losing every challenge and its kind of a bummer? I wonder why? Hmmm...what could it be? Maybe you have shit people who needs to go...*cough*i'mtalkingaboutandrew*cough*. Phoebe, Kristie and Kate are in full recruitment mode to get rid of Andrew, please God get rid of him. He is stomping around camp, looking all evil and dodgy. He says lots of weird analogy things that don't make sense, but he thinks Kristie is the next to go. Why?... Because he ordered it. Please...shut up. If you guys don't vote him out, I will pull my eyeballs out and throw them at the TV. I will! I WILL!!! Craig is looking like he is close to falling on the "Andrew OUT" bandwagon, but he said that last time so who knows really?

Tribal Council is ON like Donkey Kong. Andrew says things that are annoying, I don't really listen because the tap is dripping and it seems way more interesting. He does seem super confident though, so a blindside here would be beautiful. So off they go, in their secret little booth and vote. It's super intense, the music alone gives you an anxiety attack. The votes come in Kristie, Andrew, Kristie, Andrew, Kristie, Andrew...last one... I vomit bit in my mouth...Andrew! *Cue crazy tribal dance of joy around the fire* See ya later! Bye! Nice knowing you! Get out! Security! Him! That dodgy one! OUT! So happy! So so happy and whats even better is, he had no freakin' idea and it was amazing! I feel so fulfilled and content with the world and I WILL celebrate with chocolate and it WILL be amazing.

So lets have a quick check in. Who do we think will win? Right now, I have narrowed it down to Hot Sam, Lee, The Magician, Craig and Phoebe, so I haven't really narrowed it down, it's more of a  broad selection. What do you guys think? Let me know on my socials and all give us a follow! If you do I'll give you a high 5... virtually. I'm busy and don't know where you live, so real life ones aren't possible right now.

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Sunday, 11 September 2016

My not so secret shame: Survivor Recap ep.9

Episode 9: Floppy Hat's revenge!

Imagine someone took a nice peaceful island, put a whole bunch of Australians in it, made them do lots of crazy games that are hard to explain and all of a sudden got a massive bag of anxiety and sprinkled it everywhere... That was tonight's episode.

We start at Hufflepuff. The tribe is now split between the 5 original Hufflepuffs (Craig, Sue, Andrew/Stanford, Kate and Connor) and the Slytherin 4 (Phoebe, Rohan, Floppy Hat and Kristie). Obviously the originals are quietly smug over their one up on the newbies. Craig finally reveals to us the sneaky note he found in the napkin, a clue to an immunity idol. Why are they so bloody cryptic? I mean if I found one I'd be like, "Honestly I can't be bothered, I've only eaten bloody rice so I have the brain capacity of a sea snail".

Over at Gryffindor, newbie Jenna Louise is quietly shitting herself because she is completely out numbered as the only Hufflepuff member to make it to the cool team. I would be too...

Back at Hufflepuff, Kristie is really starting to freak me out. She is like, trying to fit in with Kate but its way over the top and it's so fake it hurts my teeth! You can see Floppy hat's brain working away, now that she has the ability to join forces with the majority, considering Phoebe and Rohan have openly threatened to vote her out about 47 times. I'd be kind of bitter too... She basically jumped team about 2.5 seconds after settling in her new camp...so what we can see is that Phoebe and Rohan are screwed...big time... Although that doesn't stop them trying to figure out some way to unscrew themselves.

At Gryffindor, they read the mail over their daily rice in leaf cup, how often can you say you do that!? The reward challenge is up and the winning tribe get pampered. That means showers, toothbrushes, all the good smelling stuff... so basically what we know is, that they would be stinking something awful at this point.

The reward challenge: Anthony LaPaglia's brother does the awkward, question and answer thing before the challenge starts. Poor Connor. He keeps looking over at Gryffindor like a sad puppy. He was a Gryffindor, he belongs in that house... It's ok buddy, you are a Gryffindor in my mind! So...basically...this challenge involves mud. Lots and lots of mud. What they need to do is jump in a massive pool of mud and put as much of that mud on themselves as they can, then scrape it off into a barrel. First team to fill the big tub of mud, wins the pampering sesh, as well as some cheese and wine to make it all fancy. God you would want to win this challenge because if not, you would be scraping mud out of your ass crack for the next 5 weeks...seriously it gets everywhere. I think Nick loves it because it gives him a chance to feel up all the girls as he, "Scrapes mud off them"...he does get to do it to Lee and Hot Sam though so...you gotta be bit jealous there! It's like visually such a bizarre challenge to watch. I don't know who is who, there's just lots of mud...and boobs...and legs flopping around...and boobs. It looks fun - not the boob part, the flopping in mud part... And the music is kinda funky for a minute. Wait a sec, would it stink? I don't want to know. Anyway, Gryffindor win!! Soz Hufflepuff...looks like its scraping off mud in the ocean for you guys...

Gryffindor have their showers and de-fuzzing session, god it would feel good after that long. Imagine how your teeth would feel having not brushed them for 20 days?! Disgusting... They would be all furry... they would probably be talking to you... imagine that?... Off topic Amy. The cheese looks nice, theres not much, whoever organised the platter was bit stingy but hey, cheese is cheese! There's a sneaky meeting of the Gryffindor outsiders, Kylie and Jenna Louise. I thought they'd find each other. There could be a potential overhaul there if their plans comes to fruition...or they could just get voted out. That's really the only two options. So we shall see...

Back at Stinkypuff... They are bathing in the ocean, probably for about 5 hours. Rohan...oh Rohan...you have quite a big mouth don't you? He thinks he is manipulating people, but he isn't, it just isn't happening for you buddy. Rohan does that thing where he talks about Floppy Hat, when she is 3 metres away from him. Rohan, shut shut your mouth...shut your mouth! Stanford informs us that, basically everyone who works in marketing is a liar and a cheater...pretty sure my Dad wouldn't be happy to hear that...then he says something about, "Shooting a duck in a barrel". Can you do that? Surely PETA would have something to say. Craig is on a sneaky adventure to find his immunity idol, it's not that sneaky though, because he brings the whole tribe with him. God Hufflepuff, you do it to yourselves.

There is a big storm and both tribes looks really sad. The Magician all of a sudden becomes VERY Australian, "All me shits wet." And the peeps over at Hufflepuff have a big cuddle session... Cute.

The Immunity challenge. This one is actually so easy to explain. They play basketball...in the water! Woo!! That took about 4 seconds to write! First team to get 3 baskets win. Easy, simple! I appreciate that. This was actually a really intense game to watch, they pretty much all beat the absolute shit out of each other... Like, for realsy! It got nasty, people were giving each other wedgies, there was grabbing, pulling, Hot Sam and Craig man-hugged it out for about 10 minutes like they were in some kind of weird water basketball trance. It was a super close game but it was The Magician who won it for Gryffindor in the end. Apparently, I learnt this from Anthony Lapaglia's Brothers' Twitter, the game actually went for over an hour! I'm glad it went for 5 minutes in TV land because my anxiety levels were slightly on the high end. Also before we move on, The Magician needs to magic himself some sunscreen...you have some serious milky white skin going on and the sun is going to love to lobster the shit out of it!

So Hufflepuff...back on the chopping block and shit is getting reeeeaalllllll... So much plotting, tension, anxiety, whispering, lying, bad lying and Rohan being an idiot. Seriously dude, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The original Hufflepuff's are basically united in voting as a team, they are a strong unit, and they know it. Rohan and Phoebe are wetting their pants because they know it going to be them that's leaving, unless they can join forces with the two people who they have backstabbed, lied to, bullied and threatened to vote out multiple times. Enter Floppy Hat and Kristie. It's your time girlfriends... Oh, but wait, remember Rohan has the immunity idol, it's ok, he has basically told half the island that he has it, so its hard to forget. So will he play it, or will he give it to Phoebe as promised? I know I'm kinda brushing over it but seriously... Anxiety...

Tribal Council time. Don't they all look so glowy and mysterious in the glow of the fire? Now this was an intense one, or as the Italians like to say, "Intenso". Even the music sounded like something you would hear in a battle scene in Transylvania, coz it's spooky and I'm assuming there would be a battle with Vampires there, so the music... I don't know man... So they have their chats where the majority team in Hufflepuff, (the originals) basically say, we have the numbers and you guys are screwed. There is a scramble till the very end, with Phoebe frantically trying to get Floppy Hat and Kristie on board. So they vote...it's like, crazy intense, what will happen?? Who is going??? ARGH! Anthony Lapaglia's Brother gets the votes ready to count and BOOM... Phoebe pulls out the immunity idol. Good bloody thing you did girlfriend because you scored yourself 5 votes to get your butt out of there. All of which were not counted. So its between Rohan, Sue and Kat... Who is going to go? Who is it? Who is it!? Then Floppy Hat swoops in with the final vote... Rohan...You and your big mouth are OUT! Phoebe is so PISSED. Floppy Hat... You win this round.

DRAMA! Love it!! Argh this was such a good episode. I feel emotionally exhausted... And hungry.
I hope you guys enjoyed and as always, check out my socials and make sure you follow me because I post, sometimes funny, maybe informative, occasionally interesting stuff there!

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Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Spitting the Dummy!

I have nearly reached the 6month mark of having my little baby Poppy in my life. One friend who has been along this crazy journey with me, from the very beginning, was the Dummy. The good ol Dummy. Always there when Poppy was having a massive tantrum, always there to help her drift off to sleep at night. Suddenly one day, the Dummy decided that it no longer wanted to serve a positive place in my quiet and contented babies life, instead it wanted to create a living hell where no parent will ever sleep or be fully functioning ever again. So it was time...to destroy the dummy.

 (My little bubba, Poppy, don't you just want to eat her...)

I know giving your child a dummy is a very controversial topic. A lot of Mums get very heated on the subject, both the "Yes I love the Dummy" to "No you're ruining your child's mouth" Mums. I get it, each to their own, I am not going to judge you either way. When Poppy was born, we were in the hospital and she was having problems settling. It was 3am on the second day and she was going bat shit crazy. I am a massive over packer, I like to make sure I have everything you could ever possibly need and so I had a dummy with me. Amazing silence. There began our Dummy journey. I know some babies don't take to it but Poppy loved it. It provided not only quiet time for us, but comfort for her.

Over the next couple of months it was great. Then we hit the 4 month mark and leap 4 kicked in (Leaps are developmental leaps from 'The Wonder Weeks' book, also an app. Definitely worth checking out!) and all hell broke lose. Poppy was an amazing sleeper from birth. She literally slept 7pm-7am. Yep we were those parents that other sleep deprived parents hated. Once leap 4 kicked in, sleep was no more. They say during the 4-5 month period, whatever your baby uses to help them sleep, is what they begin to rely on to sleep. So Poppy would start to wake up in the night and could only go back to sleep if the dummy was in her mouth. But it would fall out when she was asleep. So she would wake up, no dummy - cry. This would repeat itself literally 8 times a night. I thought maybe it was a phase, but one day past, then 2, then 5, then a week, then a month and this went on and on till we got to 6 months. I did so much research on what it could be and it kept coming back to the freakin dummy.

(Doing her best 'Mr Burns' impression...)

How could it be? Something that once served so much purpose was now a pain in my ass. From all the mums who have taken the dummy away from their child, I heard it wasn't pretty. So I avoided it as long as possible, but after months of broken sleep, fighting with my partner, crying, feeling so frustrated and down, I knew it was time.

So my plan was this. Poppy would have the dummy all throughout the day, to help settle her, if she was grumpy or emotional. So I stopped giving it to her, only for naps. Whenever she would have a nap in the car or her pram, I wouldn't give it to her, relying on the movement to help her fall asleep. So gradually she was learning she could settle herself without the aid of something. Of course if she was upset she would get extra cuddles, but no dummy! I did that for about a week and then it came to the big cold turkey. I took the dummy away completely. Paddy (my partner) and I braced ourselves for war. I heard they could cry up to an hour because they want the dummy so i was mentally ready for this. But Poppy was upset for about 10 minutes and off to sleep she went. Next nap, grumpy for 5 minutes then off to sleep. Next nap, 2 minutes and off to sleep. It was FUCKING AMAZING. That night, we only woke up once.

Now it could have just been a fluke, so we continued on and on for the next couple of days and now we are back to sleeping through the night. If Poppy wakes up, she has a chat to herself and falls back to sleep. She is so much calmer, she is happy to just hang in her bed and my god do I feel like a new person. I understand that every baby is different, so yours may react better, worse, the same. They will react, so prepare yourself for it. But it won't be forever.

(My happy, crazy Minnie Mouse is so much more content after losing her frenemy, The Dummy)

If you are a Mum who is thinking about giving the dummy the flick, I want you to know, it is scary and it is hard. You will feel mean and there will be times where you want to give in. But stay strong. Tough love can be a wonderful thing. I feel that slowly taking it away was so much better for everyone, than going extreme cold turkey. I'm all for tough love, but not that tough, I'm too much of a softy. Baby steps all the way. You can do it!

I just wanted to share that story because for me, it was an absolute Mum win!! I'm so happy I did it and I wanted to give some motivation to those other Mums and Dads out there who are dealing with the same thing. It's tough but it's worth it!

If you give it a try or have your own stories, or questions please let me know on any of my social media! I'd love to here it! Plus for more Mummy meltdowns, wins and random stuff be sure to follow me on any of the following:

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